ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
