One girl and one boy is just not enough.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
