i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
