Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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