real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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