Sry I called you an 8
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
