she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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