real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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