i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize