i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
