Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
