The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
