the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
