It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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