it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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