Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
