are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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