Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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