Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
