I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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