Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
