What a fucking waste of an outfit
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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