i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
