Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Randomize
