I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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