Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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