When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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