Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
