North Korea, Best Korea!
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I understand Curling. That high.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
