Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
