He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
