Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
