I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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