none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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