Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
