3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
