Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
