Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
True strength comes from lack of pants
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
