Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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