No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i dont even know how to be here
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
