We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
