My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
