She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
