i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
