The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
