I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
