I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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