Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
