you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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