I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
