Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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