Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I need help removing her.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize