Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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