She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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