For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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