Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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