I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
